And now, 365 celestial rotations later, I've launched the first in a neverending flood of weird crappy little paperback books written in the spirit of the all-time greats of pulp fiction who poured their idiosyncratic souls into typewriters long before me.
That book is called The Devil and Daniel Boone, and I beseech the reader to buy it now and get in on the ground floor, for the JSH Book Club will be announced here in the months to come, offering the hungry consumer of American lout-literature a new tome in the snail (or electronic) mail each and every month. Too much pork for just one fork!! And if you're already a proud owner of The Devil and Daniel Boone, you'll get a discount, see?
As my good gal Agent Scully once said, "DON'T THINK! Just pick up that phone and MAKE IT HAPPEN!!"
The proliferation of tawdry e-books hastily slapped together has been decried by many, including me, and it's damn unfortunate since the zeit I'm tryin' to cling to is that of the old-timey old-school hacks of yesteryear who churned out entire novels in a day or two for the purpose of being serialized in one of thousands of crudely-crafted "pulp magazines" printed ineptly on the world's crummiest paper and never intended to be saved, collected, or even thought of again once the next week's issue hit the stands. (In other words, that Sexton Blake feeling.) There were typographical mistakes galore, and drastic printer's errors that would have caused a more "professional" outfit to scrap the entire run and start over. I speak for those dead trees and their primitive 19th-20th century foibles, which is a whole 'nother sort of shoddiness than the cheesy "indie e-books" of today.
Having said that, my new series of stupid books will be available as e-books soon. And at a suitably soupy low, low, death-dealing price. Whatever. There you go, Kindle-gardeners, don't say I never did nothin' for ya. But just remember - the printed ones are the real ones and if you bought the e-version simulacra, you played yourself. (But give me your money anyway.)