"Son of Grimaldi" Bits and Pieces

I rarely write a linear story in drafts, preferring to arrange it piecemeal as potential fragments I assemble slowly begin to come together and form the story. Two of my heroes, William S. Burroughs and F. Scott Fitzgerald, worked in this manner. (Some of Fitzgerald's collected random pieces, unused ideas, and notes were published verbatim in the book The Crack-Up, and I actually think it's his best work.)

What follows are just a couple of random fragments from the play "Son of Grimaldi", a work in progress. The story concerns the aging clown Joey Grimaldi desperately trying to mold his son into following in his footsteps.



*****

JOEY
(exasperated)

No, no, NO!!! You don't start pulling the sausages out of the baby carriage until after you've juggled the grapefruits and sung the "Skippity Sunshine" song!! What kind of imbecile are you?

JOEY, JR.
Butterscotch.

(a beat)

JOEY
What??

JOEY, JR.
You asked me what kind of imbecile I am and I said "butterscotch". (widens eyes, waves hand along as if to say, "And...? Get it?")

(silence. JOEY stares, confused.)

JOEY JR.
(losing his temper)
I'm being sarcastic. It's a JOKE!!!

(JOEY's eyes narrow, he trembles with rage, then slaps JOEY JR. hard across the face)

JOEY
Clown rehearsal is serious business!!! This is NO PLACE FOR JOKES!!!


*****

JOEY, JR.
(reciting)
"And O mother dearest, though a silly and persnickety short-pantalooned lad I be, let no man judge my follies without that especial soupçon of salt. Let the forest come alive with the sounds of a thousand flatulent owls, perched among the...."

(JOEY JR. has pronounced "soupçon" as "soop-kon". JOEY, who has begun to doze off, snaps out of it, rouses himself and consults the script)

JOEY
WAIT a minute! WAIT a minute! Did you just say "soop-kon"?

JOEY, JR.
That's what it says in the script, papa. "let no man judge my follies without that especial soupçon of salt...." (mispronounces it again)

JOEY
It's pronounced "soupçon". (correctly pronounces it "soop-sun".) Soupçon. Say it with me. Soupçon.

JOEY, JR.
What kind of word is that? It's no kind of word.

JOEY
It's French.

JOEY, JR.
Ugghhhh, I hate the French. (to audience) Why do they have to use a different word for everything? I like my way better: soupcon! (continues mispronouncing it)

(JOEY JR. begins grinning idiotically, making sweeping gesture with his hands, delivery almost like Jason Alexander on "Seinfeld")

Yessir, I just like the sound of it. SOUPCON! ha ha ha! SOUPCON!!!

(JOEY momentarily puts head in hands, then reaches for decanter of wine)

JOEY
Let's take a ten minute break.


*****